Social Media is a post apocalyptic wasteland - Error Code Show

WEBVTT

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Okay. So we're going to classify social media

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platforms as areas of the country. Okay. So Facebook

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has now become the villages in Florida. It is

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full of old people who are either having way

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too much fun or they're having some really bad

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problems and are yelling at the clouds. Okay.

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Facebook is the villages. Am I wrong? It's 100

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% true. I agree. Okay. MySpace is that mall that

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you used to go to all the time that you drive

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by that's been bulldozed, right? That nobody

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has rebuilt that lot yet. Like, nobody could

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figure out what to do with it. And it's just

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an empty lot now. But every time you drive by

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it, you're like, remember that mall? That was

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cool. Blockbuster. Now, Blockbuster was way cooler

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than MySpace ever was. Whoa, MySpace was sick.

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Blockbuster was sicker. I don't know. Facebook

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is a sentient age of a board. That's no. Sorry,

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if we're doing this now. Next door, I don't know

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how many of you are familiar with the next door

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app. Next door is a social media. It's a localized

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social media app where you can talk about the

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things that are happening in your neighborhood.

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And it is the sentient HOA board full of parents

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who are telling you exactly where you should

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be parking your car and why are there cops on

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that street and what's this new business and

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what are you doing? OK, and the kids, the kids

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are running around with no parents and and for

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shame. for shame okay that is what next door

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is okay chat you can go ahead and throw out your

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your social media apps that you want us to talk

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about um tiktok is vegas okay it is short it

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does it like The reason you can't get away from

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it is because everything's changing every 60

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seconds and it's just sensory overload. OK, TikTok

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is the Las Vegas of social media apps. That's

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really what it is. Occasionally, you see boots

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and occasionally, apparently now you see boobs.

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OK. Twitter, Twitter is probably the most difficult

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one. And yes, I still refuse to call it X. Right

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Elon can take a flying leap. It's still Twitter

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Yeah, still Twitter. Even they there's a documentary

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on Twitter and even the creators of Twitter still

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they said they still call it Twitter. Okay, Twitter

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Twitter is that that part of town? That's trying

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to always act like it's better than it is Right.

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They want to be the rich part of town. They want

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to be the really nice upscale area. So they plant

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these fancy trees and they do this stuff and

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they make these big, bright buildings and things

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like that. But in the building is a strip mall

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with a dollar general. OK, you're trying really

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hard. OK, you're trying really, really hard to

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be really nice and upscale and fancy and just

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failing at it. So I'm thinking like. Are you

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thinking, I don't know, awful. I'm thinking so

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for doing it in the Seattle world where we all

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live, it's federal way. Federal way always wants

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to be Bellevue, but it's not going to be Bellevue.

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It's never going to be Bellevue, but it tries.

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It really wants to. It really wants to be good

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threads. I will tell you what threads is threads

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is the. is the the threads is more of a person

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than a place. No, actually, sorry. No, I can't.

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Was that Chuck E. Cheese threads, which is the

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one that Facebook came up with that was supposed

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to be the Twitter killer. Right. When when they

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switched over to X threads, now threads is not

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Kent. Threads is the church where everybody's

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trying to be really, really hip, but they're

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really just a bunch of whiny little goody two

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shoes. They're like, hey kids, are you down with

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J USES? Like they're the one that has the rock

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band for youth group rock band for youth group

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and they really want to be hip and they really

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want to be cool and they try to appeal to the

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high school kids and all the real hip people

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Right and you don't have to wear a suit to church

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and you can wear jeans and flip -flops or shorts

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and flip -flops But really you're still just

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a bunch of nerds Yeah Yeah, that sounds about

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right for this social media platform that I haven't

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really heard of Yeah, I I know I spelled Jesus

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wrong. Leave me alone chat Blue sky Blue sky

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is that small town In fact what blue sky is blue

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sky is is cannon beach, Oregon, right? Right,

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but it's so tiny quaint and nobody really knows

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like unless you're from the Pacific Northwest

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nobody really knows about it right and it's cute

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it's nice right but it's never gonna be big you

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know and it's never gonna be the destination

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does that make sense yeah I haven't spent enough

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time on mastodon Discord is a junior high school

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boys locker room. I don't I don't know where

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everybody's kind of half edgy, but not really

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smart enough or cool enough to be really edgy.

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I don't know because it's not as crazy as 4chan.

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Yeah, I would say high school locker room. Yeah.

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Yeah. Discord is a high school boys locker room.

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That's what it is. I'm on Blue Sky. Yep. Case

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in point. Blue Sky is Pawnee, Indiana. I've never

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been to Pawnee, Indiana, so you're going to have

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to take your word for it. Who else did we get

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there? Did we get anything else? Twitch. I will

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tell you exactly what Twitch is. Twitch is the

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high school cable access channel. High school

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cable access. Yeah, like we're any of those bigger

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high schools that have like a production program

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Right where the kids do like video announcements

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and school news and things like that. It's the

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high school internal TV station Okay, that's

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what twitch is And everybody on it things are

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cooler than they are I don't know I don't I would

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say like twitch is more like a robotics club

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of a high school. Okay. Snapchat. That's tough.

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I don't have to think. Let me come back to Snapchat.

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Instagram. Gosh, there's so many social media.

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There is. This is this is also very revealing

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in how many social media platforms there are.

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Dear God. I like this one so Instagram Instagram

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I want to make it a place not because I keep

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coming of like a personification of Instagram,

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but I'm trying to make it a place I just think

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about that one too. There's gonna be place YouTube

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is any sci -fi show set in Vancouver Says the

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YouTube chat that That might be pretty close

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to the truth. That might be pretty close to it.

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Truth social is Montgomery, Alabama. Oh, oh,

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is that the Donald Trump one? Yeah. That is Montgomery,

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Alabama. No, it's not Texas, because see, there's

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just enough like neat stuff in Texas where Texas

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is always Texas is never quite falling down a

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hole. Right. Because there's just enough cool

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shit in Texas to keep it from being a complete

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dumpster fire. To socials, Montgomery, Alabama.

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I will say a lot of people from the Pacific Northwest

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is currently relocating to Texas. Even today

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at work. Whole group of people were talking about

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legit moving to Texas. Up. Right. I think YouTube

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got it. Snapchat is Miami. No memories because

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that cocaine hit differently. And you're going

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to put some shit on there that you probably shouldn't

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have. You're from Florida. Would you would you

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agree that with that one? Snapchat is Miami.

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Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right. And I never

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I was never really on Snapchat. So so we're calling

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it now snapchat is Miami. So as somebody who's

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from Florida because I think I forget what Instagram

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is What is the place that everybody wants to

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act like is as cool as Miami, but isn't in, Florida

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As cool as like where they're like it's as cool

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as Miami and you're like no, it's not I would

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say like maybe to me. I would say Jacksonville.

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Okay Insta do people try and like act like it's

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kind of hip and cool and But really they're just

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fronting Yeah, okay Instagram is Jacksonville

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somebody in the chat. What about Tampa? What

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do we say about Tampa? Tampa No No Tampa did

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no Because like Tampa to me was like always like

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really nice because you have like the giant aquarium

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and then typically if you live in Tampa you work

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I believe you work in like Disney or something

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but yeah you know I don't I don't know like Tampa

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Tampa's pretty nice so all right so we're going

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with we're going with Jacksonville Jacksonville

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all right Instagram sorry you're Jacksonville

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You got stuck there. Alright, that was actually

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kind of a fun little topic. I think we've run

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out of social media platforms to talk about for

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right now though. So what do you think? What

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do you think of our assigning these locations

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to different social media platforms? I think

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that's a funny concept. Let us know where you

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would put these places in the comments below.